epic...

9 climbers, 1 base camp cook, 3000 pounds of gear, 80 days, an ascent of Mt. Huntington in Alaska ... this is a fascinating trip report from way back in 1980. Absolutely stunning photos that gives you an idea of the beauty of Alaska (give them some time to download, but oh so worth it!) And the last pic of the cabin in Talkeetna? I was there just a couple of months ago - looks exactly the same.

http://cascadeclimbers.com/trip-reports/alpine/west-fork-ruth-huntington-e-ridge-4-1-1980-4474/


I really have no desire to do a huge mountaineering trip like this. But that doesn't mean I don't appreciate these types of reports. Actually, it's more than appreciate, it's a jaw dropping awe of their accomplishments. I may never go as extreme as them, but I do know what it's like to work your way through the snow and feel completely overwhelmed by the immenseness and raw beauty of the world around me. And doing that at night, during a full moon, is the most amazing experience I've ever had. It's a different and magical land at night.

Enjoy.

a moment of clarity...

It's cold and snowy outside, the perfect day for quiet reflection. I decided to venture out with a book and my laptop in hand and spend time in my fav coffee shop. I got my requisite cup of hot chocolate, sat down at a nice cozy table with a window view, and set about to read my book in peace and quiet. However, things never seem to work out the way we plan it, do they?

Two young women we're sitting at the table next to me, talking about relationships. It's the usual angst of 20 year old's, the whole "why doesn't he like me?", "We're so perfect each other, why doesn't he see it?" etc, etc. I was smiling to myself, thinking about the many conversations I have had about that very topic when one of the young women said "My big fear is that no one will ever love me, that I'm too broken and undeserving to ever truly be loved for me." It took me by surprise - not only did I understand what she was saying, I've said the very same thing over the past few months. It was a surprise to see this young woman echo my own fears and insecurities - I had seen her at the counter getting a cup of coffee and my first thought had been how beautiful and charming she was, she must have a great life. I thought I knew what was in her heart by just looking at her - how wrong I was.

It makes me wonder how I'm viewed by others - do they think I have no insecurities or problems? I've been told many times that I am lovely and intelligent and engaging, but do I really believe it? At times. The truth be told is that most of the time I have a running dialog in my mind that says the exact opposite - you will never be good enough or pretty enough or smart enough. It's easier to believe the negative.

I have been struggling with this inner voice and it's crippling affect on me. A very wise person once told me that if I wanted to deal with my past, I would have to learn how to sit in the pain of that past, not ignore it. I've reaped the benefits of that philosophy before and plan to, once again, use pain as a way to learn and grow. I'm not looking forward to it, but I know I will be better in the long run.

You just never know what can happen at a coffee shop, do you?

sleep is for wimps...

I'm back from California. Well, at least partially. I think I left some of my brain cells back there and have felt in a fog since returning. Part of it is due to lack of sleep - I slept about 6 hours during the 4 day race. And while I loved every minute of the race, I am finding it hard to recoup quickly from the sleep deprivation. I have fallen asleep in our staff meeting, at my desk, while on the phone, and at a restaurant. I'm not the best of company, to say the least. You would think I was the one who ran the race, not support crew.


I may be a bit sleep deprived, but in some ways that has been a good thing. My brain is clearer and life seems much simpler. With this clarity has been a bit of a revelation. Am I ready to say what that is right now? No, not really. I need more time to think through it. I'm nervous and excited at the possibilities and hopeful for the first time in a long time.

And the race? Such a great experience! The team went from 4 to 2 racers when Wendy and Melissa dropped due to illness. So it was Kent and Tim as a team and me as support. This race was much more challenging for me than the last race in Moab - there was much more driving and driving on roads that were not made for a truck and trailer. We figured I drove over 500 miles during the 4 days of the race and I felt every little mile.

Tim and Kent had to race unranked since it was just the two of them. Despite that, they did a phenomenal job! They cleared 37 of the 40 checkpoints, which would have put them in 2nd place. I admit, I loved working with them. I've seen other teams crash under the pressure of no sleep and extreme physical exertion and treat their crew poorly, but these two were always kind and gracious, if not a little out of it at times :-) We all had those moments where the brain just wouldn't function the way we wanted.

The week ended with a quick jaunt into San Francisco and then it was back to Denver. I have a feeling it's going to take me a while to get back to normal. Despite that, I would do it again in a heart beat!

The final word on aha moment...

I found out last week I was not one of the top 10 for the Mutual of Omaha Aha Moment. I was a little disappointed but have to admit I was more thrilled that I won the Flip Video Camera for being in the top 25.

Fast forward to yesterday, when I got a phone call from the marketing agency that is working with Mutual of Omaha. I was quite surprised to find out that they still wanted to use my moment! I then got a confirmation email from them:

Per our conversation this afternoon, while your aha moment wasn’t among the top vote-getters in last month’s online survey, Mutual of Omaha thinks your story is so incredible that they would love to feature it in their 2010 nationwide TV ad campaign!

We’ll be in touch with additional details shortly, but in the meantime, thank you again for sharing your moment with us! The launch of the aha moment campaign in 2009 truly has been an amazing experience and it’s because of people like you.

So, you will now be able to see yours truly on television beginning in January. I should know the schedule soon and will post it as soon as I get it.

too much stuff...

I've spent the past 4 hours trying to stuff all my belongings into a gym bag and backpack. It was at the end of those 4 hours that I realized I hadn't packed any shoes. Does this give you any idea of how scatter brained I am right now? Too much to do, so little time.

If you didn't read my last post, I'll update you on why I'm packing. I am heading to California to provide support for a team in the 4 day Gold Rush Adventure Race. The race starts Thursday morning near Yosemite and ends Sunday afternoon. If you would like to track how my team is doing (their name is Almost Semi Pro), go to http://www.trackme360.com/goldrush/ beginning Thursday and you'll see each teams progress live. It should be a great week!

See you all next week!

sensoring myself...

I wrote a blog post last night (which would of been October 31). As you might have noticed, I don't have a post from October 31. Why? I deleted it. It was a good post... no, a great post. But this morning I reread it and realized that it was sharing more of my thoughts and insecurities than I was willing to reveal, at least at this time.

I've been in a reflective mood for a few weeks now and last night was a night that had me on reflection overload. I get like that at times; my mind works so fast that I can't keep up with it. And lately there has been a lot to keep my mind occupied. At some point I will most likely say more, but I'm just not ready at this time. That's for another day.

In other news... I'm heading out to California on Tuesday for the Gold Rush Adventure Race. I'll be providing support for the same team I provided support in Moab last year. I'm not sure why I'm excited about spending 4 days driving around the wilderness with little to no sleep, cold temps, rain and possibly snow, but I am! I get to share it with wonderful friends and when that happens, it can be nothing but good. I'm sure I'll have a post or two, plus lots of pictures, to share.

Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple

I found out this week that my little 15 minutes of fame has continued for a bit longer than I expected. My Aha Moment made it to the final round of voting! A BIG thanks to all of you who voted for the first round and you are more than welcome to vote again at http://www.ahamoment.com/pg/voting?id=8443. If I'm in the top 10, it will be on television in 2010.

Oh, and the title? Attributed to the always wise Dr. Seuss. I like it, it fits my life on so many levels right now. I have lots of complicated questions running through my mind, now I would like to know where I can get those 'simple' answers?

(I was going to write more but I'm so tired that I just fell asleep at my computer. I think it's time to head to bed - you can hear more of my ramblings another day).

i took this little test at Oprah.com...

and this is what it said about me.

YOU ARE STRIVING TO BE SPONTANEOUS
You are an adventurer: Action-oriented, curious, outgoing, and often technically gifted, you live for new experiences. You are drawn to risk-taking and aren't afraid to fail. (yup, that's me) Generally restless, you tend to job-hop or choose a field that offers constant novelty. (so not me - I've had 3 jobs in the past 20 years - I stay put) If you had to name your favorite place, it might be the center of attention—you're a born entertainer, (uhm, no!) and can easily adapt to any audience. While you collect many acquaintances, you're less likely to develop deep, committed relationships.

What to watch out for: When you can't satisfy your thirst for variety and excitement, you may see yourself as trapped, which can lead to impulsive and self-destructive behavior—drinking, drugs, breaking off relationships, ditching financial responsibilities. (this is true, unfortunately. Well, not the drugs or alcohol, but food has always been my drug.) Try to find value in some traditions; if you learn to appreciate repetitive experiences, you won't always feel the urge to bust free. And when a new opportunity thrills you, keep in mind that just because it sounds exciting, that doesn't mean it's good for you. (this last sentence should probably be on my refrigerator).

Looking ahead: Life will have meaning for you as long as you feel stimulated. That might mean chasing twisters, (done that) exploring the polar ice caps,(not quite, but want to) getting a degree in dance therapy (I'm a horrible dancer), or becoming an astronaut. (ohh, I hadn't thought of that one!) It might also mean reading new books (I haven't finished a book in over 4 years - I start them, get close to the end, and forget about them - can you say ADD), attending workshops (love learning!), or letting yourself get swept up in an intoxicating romance (yeah, I do love that). As a risk-lover with a lot of energy, you're a natural entrepreneur.(oh, that is so NOT me, except for the energy part) You'll be happiest if you change jobs every so often and travel extensively. Movement is what keeps you going. (yes, yes and yes)


Oprah knows me much better than I thought she did - very impressive since I thought she would still be mad at me for my Aha Moment. I see a reconciliation in the future. But first, I need to go find the stack of books I haven't finished and read them to the very end. Of course, I would have to start them all over again since I won't remember much, which means I have to sit down and read for longer than a few hours...

Where's my bike?

a reason to lose it...

...that's the title they gave me for my Aha Moment 'Commercial' and I kind of like it.

This is my round about way of saying that voting has begun!

Don't know what I'm talking about? Check out this post and this post about my experience.

Voting takes place until Oct. 15, when the top 25 will be decided (did I mention that if I get the top 25, I win a flip video camera? did I also mention that I REALLY WANT THAT CAMERA!!??) Then the top 25 move on to the finals and voting begins again - the top 10 will be featured in their nationwide commercials.

Here's the link to my newly edited aha moment - http://www.ahamoment.com/pg/voting?id=8443. Make sure to take a few moments and check out the other semi-finalists - there are some amazing stories!

guys getting chicked...

I love this article! I know I will never get to 'chick' anyone (unless I get lucky and pass a 90 year old man. And honestly, how many 90 year olds do you see mountain biking?), but it sure is fun hearing these stories.

What does a girl have to do if she wants marriage proposals, arm-wrestling contests, shock-and-awe accolades, and (sadly) trail blocking and really strange behavior? Simple: Pass a guy on the trail or in a race. If you’re the dude being passed, you just got chicked.

http://outside-blog.away.com/blogs/2009/09/getting-chicked.html


A couple of my favorite stories:

From Rebecca Tomaszewski
A lot of guys get weird about being chicked, but I had one dude point out that he’d rather look at my rear than his buddies, and that he’d rather get passed on a bike than beaten in arm wrestling!

From Sarah Kaufman
When I lived in San Francisco I used to go for mountain bike rides in Golden Gate Park. The singletrack is really fun and there are some flowy sections that you can really rail. I remember once flying around a corner and ending up in an impromptu homeless camp. There were about five homeless guys sitting around completely wasted (on who knows what). They immediately began shouting and slurring, but really encouraging things, like: “You gooooo girrrrrrl!” Priceless.